Friday, December 12, 2025

Video Worth Watching

Invest 48 seconds to watch Coach Caralla's speech. 

Here's a nugget of truth, "when you find a group of good athletes willing to work hard because they want to succeed as much as their coach does, then you've got something."  

What Does Being a "Team Player" Mean?

"Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want."

Not sure who coined the wisdom, "Play smart, play hard, and play together." Many have shared it.

Selfishness is one of the "Killer S's," - selfishness, softness, sloth. What's worse in team sport than being called selfish, lacking toughness, or lazy? That doesn't indict our ability, our game knowledge, or potential. It's a frontal attack on...character.

Golf, chess, or bowling are individual sports. You can't be 'too selfish' in the PGA unless you're playing Ryder Cup. 

The Prime Directive in team sports is "Team First." In baseball it's literally called a sacrifice, bunting to advance a runner. In football it's blocking for a teammate. In basketball, it's setting screens or providing defensive help. 

Most of us will never know the feeling of being a great player. God forbid we live the label of "bad teammate." 

I asked ChatGPT Plus for a consult. Here's what it came up with:

This is a hard topic - but an important one - because selfishness in volleyball rarely looks like ego. More often, it looks like subtle choices that help the individual while hurting the team.

Below are clear, concrete examples, organized the way coaches actually see them.

1. Offensive selfishness (the most obvious)

These show up loudly on film.

  • Low-percentage swings
    Hitting sharp into a set block instead of recycling or using the high hands to keep a rally alive.

  • Demanding the ball in bad situations
    Calling for sets out of system just to stay “involved,” rather than trusting a teammate with the better option.

  • Serve-first ego
    Jump-serving every time at full risk without regard to score, opponent vulnerability, or momentum.

  • Stat chasing
    Caring more about kill totals than efficiency, point scoring, or set location quality.

2. Energy and effort selfishness (quieter, more corrosive)

These don’t show in the box score - but they tilt matches.

  • Selective effort
    Sprinting to attack but jogging to cover, block, or chase a free ball.

  • Ball-watching after your contact
    Watching your attack land instead of transitioning immediately to defend.

  • Saving legs for last row
    Avoiding tough defensive moves or pancake attempts to “stay fresh” for offense.

3. Communication selfishness

Selfishness often sounds like silence.

  • Not calling the ball
    Assuming “someone else has it,” leading to campfires and confusion.

  • Late or vague calls
    Calling “mine” too late, or using unclear language in tight spaces.

  • Withholding information
    Not sharing blocking or serving cues that could help a teammate succeed.

4. Emotional selfishness

This one drains teams fastest.

  • Visible frustration
    Eye rolls, hands up, slumped shoulders after a teammate’s mistake.

  • Sulking after not getting set
    Body language that signals disengagement: no approach, no transition, no cover.

  • Holding grudges mid-match
    Letting a single play hijack multiple points.

5. Role selfishness

This separates good teams from great ones.

  • Resisting role clarity
    Complaining about touches instead of mastering what the team needs right now.

  • Ignoring the “invisible jobs”
    Avoiding blocking discipline, serve-receive responsibility, or coverage work because it won’t be noticed.

  • Needing recognition to invest effort
    Playing hard only when praised or spotlighted.

6. Behavioral selfishness (extends beyond the court)

These undermine trust.

  • Being late or unprepared
    Forcing teammates to adjust because of your habits.

  • Violating team policies
    Academics, conduct, or social media behavior that creates distraction for the group.

  • Undermining the team narrative
    Complaining to parents, friends, or online instead of addressing issues internally.

A clean definition players understand

Volleyball selfishness is choosing what feels best for you over what gives the team its best chance to win the rally.

It’s a moment-by-moment decision, not a personality trait.

The useful flip (this is how you coach it)

Selfishness isn’t cured by lectures. It’s cured by replacing it with shared standards:

  • “What helps us score this point?”

  • “What makes the next contact better?”

  • “Who needs this ball more than I do?”

Or my favorite Phil Jackson inversion:

“Basketball is sharing.” Volleyball is no different.

Mental Toughness

What it is and what it isn’t  Don’t leave home without it. 

Thursday, December 11, 2025

Codify Leadership - but Don’t Confuse It with Leadership

Teams love to talk about leadership. We create captains, titles, and  committees. We “codify” or “formalize” leadership because structure helps set expectations. Your captains will do a great job and you can make their work easier. 

But titles do not create leaders. They do not replace leadership.

A famous quote captures the truth:  “Your actions speak so loudly that I cannot hear a word you say.”

Leadership in volleyball always comes back to behavior. You lead by what you model, not by what you announce.

What Leading Without a Title Looks Like

Leadership is not mysterious. It’s not reserved for seniors. And it’s not something you inherit. It is built daily, choice by choice.

Leaders do things like:

  • Encourage teammates daily. Make someone better because you showed up.

  • Be the best teammate possible. Humility and generosity win locker rooms.

  • Bring energy and energize others. Your presence should elevate practice.

  • Be positive. Negativity drains; positivity multiplies.

  • Give your best effort. Effort is the one skill nobody takes from you.

  • Be coachable. Feedback is a gift. Accept it with gratitude.

  • Never be a distraction. Don’t steal attention.

  • Model excellence in the classroom. Discipline travels.

  • Do the dirty jobs. Leaders sweep gyms, chase balls, and take extra reps.

  • Be the first to ask, “How can I help?” Service is leadership’s core.

These behaviors define your leadership qualities. They answer the leadership question that matters:

"Are my actions making my team better?"

You don’t need a title to lead. You need habits.

Because on every team, in every season, leaders reveal themselves by consistent, selfless action.

Lagniappe. "Keep the middle honest." 

 


Wednesday, December 10, 2025

Stop Abusing These Words

Earn your STUDENT-Athlete status with better creative and critical writing.

Communicate better with stronger verbs and fewer adverbs. Stephen King informs abuse of adverbs in his seminal work, On Writing. Read On Writing and assimilate the messages. 

MVB has produced an abundance of talent both in the classroom and on the court. Academic excellence pays you. Education elevates the value of "human capital."

Strike these words from our vocabulary, especially "low value" words - really, very, nice, and thing.

Damn a player with faint praise? She does really, very, nice things on the court. You don't want those labels.  

Earn praiseworthy descriptions:
  • She serves with the skill of a Samurai archer. 
  • She attacks like Cerberus at the gates of Hades. 
  • Getting a serve past her presents a challenge greater than slipping the sun past a rooster. 
  • Defeating her block reminded us of eating soup with a fork. 
  • Her indefatigable will rivaled that of James Cameron's "Terminator."
Elite preparation requires work and specificity. Nora Roberts wrote, "Butt in the chair, hands on the keyboard,” and the related line, “I can fix a bad page, but I can’t fix a blank one.

Lagniappe. Five top messages from "On Writing" via AI

1. Read a lot. Write a lot. There is no substitute.

King is blunt: if you don’t have time to read, you don’t have time to write.

Reading builds:

  • Vocabulary

  • Rhythm

  • Story sense

  • The internal “quality bar” you measure yourself against

Writing daily builds fluency, not inspiration. This is reps over motivation.

Coaching translation: You don’t “feel your way” into skill. You accumulate it.

2. Talent is cheap. Discipline is rare.

King doesn’t romanticize writing as genius. He frames it as skilled labor done consistently.

His personal rule:

  • 1,000 words a day, minimum

  • Door closed → draft phase

  • Door open → revision phase

The magic isn’t talent—it’s showing up even when the work feels flat.

Excellence is a habit, not a spark.

3. Kill adverbs. Choose strong verbs.

King’s most famous technical lesson: clarity beats decoration.

Adverbs often:

  • Signal weak verbs

  • Mask indecision

  • Dilute voice

“He ran quickly” → weak
“He sprinted” → precise

This is about trusting the sentence.

If the action is clear, the reader doesn’t need help.

(Coaches could replace “adverbs” with empty praise or over-coaching.)

4. First drafts are supposed to be bad.

King defends the ugly first draft. He even gives you permission to write badly—on purpose.

Why?

  • Drafting is discovery

  • Revision is improvement

  • You can’t fix what you haven’t made

He calls the first draft “writing with the door closed.”

You can’t revise a blank page.

This lesson alone frees people to actually produce work.

5. Write the truth as you understand it.

King insists that good writing comes from:

  • Emotional honesty

  • Personal conviction

  • Willingness to be uncomfortable

Don't write to impress. Instead, write what you believe, clearly and directly.

The job isn’t to be safe. The job is to be honest.

Readers (and players) can sense authenticity instantly.

Bottom line (King would like this):

Writing isn’t mystical.
It’s craft + discipline + courage.

The Slowest Zebra in Lion Country

The most precious commodity is time. Escaped time cannot be retrieved. Here's a thin slice of reality: MVB '26 may have the most competition for spots in the history of MVB. Fierce competitors inhabit 360 Lynn Fells Parkway. 

Here's how to get nothing done. 

  • No plan
  • Lack of focus 
  • Let distractions win
  • Low energy work
  • No accountability..."It's not my job." 

Remember the great mathematician, Carl Jacobi, who recommended a central mental model, "Invert, always invert."

  • Detailed written plans  
  • Attention to detail with laser focus 
  • Sideline distractions. No phone...no background noise
  • High energy...not a good time to be the slowest zebra in lion country 
  • Team ownership of process, of hard work, of standards. 

Return to Dr. Fergus Connolly's four factors:

  • Skill
  • Strategy 
  • Physicality 
  • Psychology 
Ask great questions.

- What is my skill that gets and keeps me on the court? 

- What is the need, the slot for which I provide the answer? 

- What do I have to do to earn that spot, winning the internal competition for minutes, role, and recognition?

- What is your choice

- Am I willing to pay the metaphorical price to do that, the dedication, the blood, sweat and tears of sacrifice? 

It's an exciting time for Melrose volleyball with many talented players who work hard and manifest a fierce competitive ethos. 

Lagniappe. In some measure, we are here because of the commitment of the few. A "middling student" at West Point, Ulysses Grant was selling firewood on a street corner before the Civil War. All he did was to preserve the Union. Winston Churchill's early career was marked by failure at Gallipoli. It resulted in his resignation from his position as First Lord of the Admiralty. He recovered and his steadfast leadership in some measure was responsible for preserving Western Civilization.  

Tuesday, December 09, 2025

Unforced Errors

“What you can do, however, is strive to make fewer unforced errors over time by using sound judgment and techniques to make the best decision at any given time.”
Super Thinking, Gabriel Weinberg & Lauren McCann

Life is full of unforced errors - mistakes that aren’t caused by overwhelming pressure, but by lapses in judgment, execution, or preparation. They are often painful and sometimes game-changing. They separate success from failure more often than raw talent ever does.

We all know them:

  • Missing an exit on the highway

  • Leaving out or mis-measuring an ingredient

  • Misreading a test question

  • Missing a page on a standardized exam

  • A scheduling misunderstanding that means missing the bus

  • A breakdown in communication at the worst possible moment

Volleyball is no different.

At its core, winning comes down to a simple truth:
Against good teams, you must score points and give fewer away.

Unforced errors are points donated.

Unforced Errors in Volleyball

Unforced errors generally fall into three categories:

1. Decision-related errors

These reflect judgment.

  • Attacking a low-probability set

  • Swinging at an unattackable “free ball”

  • Miscommunication that creates “campfires”

  • Service time violations

  • Rotation errors

  • Failing to cover an attacker

Good decisions don’t guarantee points — but bad ones almost guarantee losses.

2. Execution-related errors

These reflect skill and consistency.

  • Service foot faults

  • Overpasses

  • Missed or wide sets

  • Double contacts over the net

  • Shanked serve-receive balls

  • Defensive plays into the net

Execution errors shrink with repetition, focus, and attention to detail.

3. Behavioral errors

These reflect professionalism — and they matter more than we like to admit.

  • Poor academic habits

  • “Missed movement” (late for practice, missing the bus)

  • Violations of chemical health policy

  • Breaking team rules

  • Misuse of social media

These errors don’t show up on the stat sheet — but they always show up on the scoreboard eventually.

The Separation Point

Exceptional players - and exceptional teams - reduce unforced errors over time. They sharpen decision-making, improve execution, and hold themselves to standards of professional behavior.

Talent scores points. Judgment protects them.

The goal isn’t perfection. The goal is fewer self-inflicted wounds - today than yesterday, this season more than last.

That’s winning the hidden game.


Lagniappe. Bring "competitive joy" to the court. 

Monday, December 08, 2025

How Coaches Look Beyond the Boxscore

Coach Stein has been a trainer and a leadership expert. Coaches see everything. When coaches have asked me about players, they don't ask about a player's athleticism, their statistics, or their GPA. They've done their homework on the player.

They want to know about a player's character - who they are beyond the measurables? Are you a worker, a good teammate, a leader? Are you a problem solver or a problem person? Commit to becoming an answer. 

Lagniappe. Easy game to help you 'read the ball'. 


Lagniappe 2. Repeat and repeat. 

Sunday, December 07, 2025

Raising Your Standards as a Team Starts with Doing so as Individuals

 


As a team, raise your game. Commit to a broad list of high standards. I wrote bullet points about raising standards and asked ChatGPT to help with organize and to create a checklist. 

Behavior beats intention. Track it. "Winners are trackers." Here are ideas to pull from on your growth journey. 

Environment & People

☐ I surround myself with people who elevate standards
☐ I seek teammates who value effort, honesty, and growth
☐ I distance myself from habits and conversations that pull standards down

Modeling Excellence

☐ I model excellence in effort, body language, and preparation
☐ I do things the right way, even when it’s uncomfortable
☐ I act the way I want younger players to act

Reflection & Thinking

☐ I keep a leadership journal
☐ I shared a journal idea with at least one teammate this week
☐ I maintain a Rethinking Scorecard
    ☐ “I changed this because…” __________________________

Habits & Process

☐ I built a personal Checklist for Success
☐ I focused on process not outcomes
☐ Our team committed to applying Atomic Habits principles
    ☐ Make it obvious
    ☐ Make it easy
    ☐ Make it consistent

Athleticism & Physical Commitment

☐ I committed to raising my athleticism
☐ I held myself accountable for strength, speed, and conditioning work
☐ I made my physical goals public to my teammates

Public athletic commitment:

  • Vertical jump goal: ☐ +3 inches ☐ +6 inches (circle one)

  • Jump rope: ☐ 5 minutes continuous

  • Time frame: _____________________

Leadership Tracking

☐ I tracked how I led today (energy, effort, service)
☐ I identified one leadership behavior to repeat tomorrow
☐ I identified one behavior to improve

Learning & Feedback

☐ I reviewed my performance with a coach or mentor
☐ I listened openly and took notes
☐ I applied feedback within 48 hours

Academics & Whole-Person Leadership

☐ I took ownership of my academic responsibilities
☐ I helped raise the academic standard of the team
☐ I checked in on a teammate’s school progress

Lagniappe. Don't let a few negative plays to impact the rest of your game. 






When Impossible Becomes Reality

Long rally

Saturday, December 06, 2025

What Is Your North Star?

The "North Star" is a mental model, guiding force to direct your journey. It isn't a goal. MVB isn't headed to the North Star. 

For example: 

Winning a league title is a goal not a guiding force. Applying relentless focus, working "the right way, every day" could be. 

What North Star guides 'the blog'? “Do the work of writing that helps committed players and coaches think, prepare, and perform better.” (It seldom hits that aspirational mark.)

Sometimes AI outperforms. AI doesn't replace the process, it amplifies and enhances it. 

Simple idea:
A North Star is a single, fixed reference point that guides direction when conditions are noisy, confusing, or emotional.

Sailors didn’t steer to the North Star; they steered by it. That distinction matters.

1. What the North Star is (and what it isn’t)

✅ What it is

  • A stable orienting principle

  • A decision filter

  • A source of directional consistency

  • A reminder of who you are when pressure rises

❌ What it is not

  • Not a goal (“win the league”)

  • Not a tactic (“run this offense”)

  • Not a metric (“raise VERT 6 inches”)

Goals and metrics change.
The North Star does not.

2. Why the North Star works (the psychology)

Under pressure, humans:

  • narrow attention

  • revert to habits

  • seek certainty

  • overreact to short-term outcomes

The North Star counters this by:

  • reducing cognitive load (“What matters right now?”)

  • preventing drift when emotions take over

  • anchoring identity, not mood

Think of it as a cognitive gyroscope.

Your North Star allows you to refocus on your values. It isn't your values. 

3. North Star vs. Goals vs. Values

ConceptPurposeTime Horizon
GoalsWhat you wantShort / Medium
ValuesWhat you believeLong
North StarHow you decideAlways

A powerful North Star sits between values and action.

4. North Star as a decision-making technique

Use the North Star as a binary filter:

Does this move me closer to or farther from who we are trying to be?

That question is more important than:

  • “Will it work?”

  • “Will we look good?”

  • “Will it make people happy?”

Great leaders use the North Star to say no more than yes.

Dr. Fergus Connolly explains that everything at practice, every activity, drill, or every scrimmage should impact winning. 

5. Examples across domains

Sports (Volleyball / Basketball)

  • “Compete every possession.”

  • “We play fast, unselfish, and fearless.”

  • “Be the best teammate on the floor.”

When things go sideways:

  • bad calls

  • missed serves

  • losing streaks

…the North Star pulls behavior back to center.

Coaching

  • “Teach the player, not the play.”

  • “Preparation over prediction.”

Business

  • Amazon: “Customer obsession.”

  • Netflix: “Freedom and responsibility.”

  • Spanx: "Obsess the product."

These are more than slogans. They are behavior filters.

Personal leadership

  • “Choose growth over comfort.”

  • “Do the hard right over the easy wrong.”

Let your character and values shine when darkness is an alternative.

6. The North Star during stress and failure

This is where the model shines.

When:

  • the scoreboard is ugly

  • emotions are loud

  • confidence is wobbling

The North Star does not argue with facts — it organizes response.

“We may be losing, but are we still doing what we said matters?”

If yes → stay the course.
If no → course-correct behavior, not identity.

Example: our middle school girls' team had just been 'rocked' without response. The head coach asked me to say a few words. "You cannot allow people to push you around without responding. How you play basketball reflects how you live." Use the North Star to redirect behaviors. 

7. One North Star beats five priorities

Teams fail when:

  • everything is important

  • messages change weekly

  • values compete with each other

A good test:

If a freshman can’t explain our North Star in one sentence, we don’t have one.

Clarity beats sophistication.

Actions define us. Principles guide us. 

8. How to create a strong North Star (practical steps)

Step 1: Name the moment of truth

Ask:

  • When pressure hits, what behavior must never change?

Step 2: Strip it to action

Avoid abstractions.

  • ❌ “Excellence”

  • ✅ “Relentless effort and trust”

Step 3: Stress-test it

  • Does it help us decide when tired?

  • Does it guide behavior when losing?

  • Does it apply to stars and role players?

Step 4: Rehearse it

The North Star must be:

  • spoken often

  • shown on film

  • tied to feedback

Choices that make the team stronger define you.  

9. North Star + Checklist = Power

Your instinct to pair this with checklists is spot on.

  • North Star = direction

  • Checklist = execution

Without a North Star, checklists become busywork.
Without checklists, the North Star becomes a poster.

10. Bottom line

The North Star doesn’t tell you exactly what to do.
It keeps you from doing the wrong things when it would be easiest to do them.

That’s leadership.
That’s coaching.

Assignment: as an individual and as a team, propose and follow your North Star. Choose aspirational, meaningful to you, and trackable. Your North Star literally filters bad options (e.g. academic laziness, bullying, violating team rules). Your North Star keeps your behavior aligned with your values, even when it’s hard.”  

Could two words define the MVB North Star? "Team volleyball" 

Lagniappe. (via Professor Adam Grant)

It's time to remove laptops from classrooms.24 experiments: Students learn more and get better grades after taking notes by hand than typing. It's not just because they're less distracted - writing enables deeper processing and more images.The pen is mightier than the keyboard. 
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The researchers estimate that over a semester, students who take notes by hand will be 58% more likely to earn As - while those who type will be 75% more likely to fail. (The obvious exception is students with disabilities that require a digital device.)